Modern Day Drifter

1. What happens when the amount of rainforest saved by the Facebook Greenpatch application exceeds the total amount of land on Earth?  As far as I can tell, the rainforest saved is merely a function of the number of plants sent via the application, so if that value ever exceeds the surface area of Earth, will someone call the developer's bluff?

2. In science, a revolution is one complete circuit.  In other words, you must finish at the exact point where you started.  So what then is a political revolution?  Is the revolution not finished until it itself needs to be revolted against?  And did the person who labeled political movements 'revolutions' recognize their futility and thus give them these monikers? 

After finally getting caught up on Grey's Anatomy over the weekend (thank you Azureus and Isohunt!), there is really only one question worth asking: where do they keep the condoms in the on-call room?  Those beds get more action than some of the seedier love hotels here in Japan.  And while it's possible that the female residents, interns, attendings, nurses and patients (geez Alex, you're really getting around these days) are all on the pill, with the amount of partner-swapping taking place, there is no way that this group of medical professionals is having unprotected sex this frequently.  So they must be using condoms.  But since I can't imagine doctors carrying them around in their scrubs (Julie, do scrubs even have pockets?), they must stash them in the on-call room.  But where?  And how do they all know where to go when it's time to do the deed?  That must be an awkward conversation–'Hey Lexie, it's your turn to buy the rubbers this month you intern scum.  But I still want to do you.'  They must collude on which brand to purchase and where to put them; that's the only explanation I can come up with.  So maybe it's a good thing that the TV writers are on strike now.  They can use the time to figure out exactly how to use the upcoming episodes as public service announcements for the importance of practicing safe sex.  It would only take one shot of each cast member, maybe one per episode, reaching for the secret stash and pulling out a Trojan.  Trojan could even sponsor the show and provide some extra revenue to help meet the writers' demands.  No one loses.  Except for McDreamy.  But he should be used to that by now.

Actually, it's frighteningly like a cult of personality.  His picture, sometimes with his wife, is absolutely everywhere in Thailand–the sides of buildings, billboards, keychains, shopping bags–you can't turn your head without seeing his face morosely staring back at you.  In fact, you can buy solid yellow polo shirts with the monarchy logo in more or less all of the clothing stores in Thailand.  Why?  Because one day of the week, I forget which, everyone wears one to show their support for the king.  Seriously.  And some overachievers even wear them on undesignated days.  I suppose it at least makes attire choices easy.  But still.  If you're planning on visiting Thailand soon, take a good book since everything will most likely shut down should the king's illness turn fatal.

I have absolutely no idea where this place is, but I am certain of the fact that I want to live there or at least rent one of the condos for a week.  I am not exaggerating when I say that this new development may actually compete with the Burj Dubai for the most elegant luxury accomodation in the world.  And the view is probably much, much better since I tend to prefer an ocean of water over an ocean of sand.

Isn't it amazing that, here, now, at the beginning of the twenty-first century, we are seeing these types of luxury developments?  That somewhere in this world, people actually have enough money to afford this kind of lifestyle?  Because I'm guessing that people who choose to live in these developments have multiple homes in multiple metropolises scattered around the globe.   Just amazing.  No other comments come to mind right now.

Just in time for your vacation needs, Foreign Policy provides a list of the most overrated travel destinations.  Having only been to one of the locations, I cannot provide either intelligent or sarcastic commentary, but I can at least say that I still would really like to go to Iceland.  And the Great Wall if I make it to the Olympics next summer.  Oh, and I'll also add that hopefully the free vacation I'm trying to win will be to none of the places on the list.  But if it is, then so be it; you should never turn down a free vacation, regardless of how many KFC-loving diving enthusiasts you encounter along the way.

Question of the day: How in (forgive me, Hitch) God's name does Christopher Hitchens have time to review the final Harry Potter book for the New York Times?  He must never sleep.  Either that or he never has to edit anything he writes; it just comes out perfectly the first time, as if he himself were the spell-caster.  That never happens to me.

Even more frustrating, though, is the review itself.  It's pretty arcane, in the sense that Hitch repeatedly alludes to religion and he looks for meaning in places where there probably is none, Harry Potter first and foremost being a fantasy book for adolescents.  But there is something magical in the way Hitch writes, even when he's way off base.  I don't think this is any more evident than in this particular review.  Read it and enjoy, especially the last few paragraphs.

Just two months after I wrote this, Nestle has launched at least four new Kit Kat flavors over here.  First it was a new and improved yubari melon, then came pineapple and orange, and just yesterday, my mouth savored the taste of kiwi fruit and chocolate delicately blended together and split into two long rectangular prisms.  The trouble is, I'm not sure which of these new flavors (maybe the new yubari melon doesn't really count) would make the list and, more importantly, which ones would have to be removed from the first incarnation.  It's really impossible to keep up with all of this.  It might even be more frustrating than having to find that damn hair gel for that kid two summers ago.  So I think the best course of action will just be to do an updated list when I leave Japan, whenever that may be.  In the meantime, America, I promise that I will continue to do my best in researching Kit Kat flavors here.  I know it's going to be difficult, but I accept my duty without hesitation or purpose of evasion.

Has anyone ever thought about how countries received their international calling codes?  When I was researching vacation destinations, I noticed that Mongolia's code is 976 and Laos's code is 856.  As a contrast, Japan's code is 81, Peru's code is 51, the US is just 1, and France is 33.  It makes me wonder if they were assigned by the order in which countries received international telephone service since there is definitely a correlation between the current level of economic development and the code given.  Europe, the West, and all of the industrialized or internationally important countries have low numbers (Australia-61, Spain-34, Russia-7), Eastern European countries have middle numbers (Albania-355, Macedonia-389), while countries that are very underdeveloped or that no one has ever heard of have very high numbers (Bangladesh-880, Krygyzstan-996, Mayotte-2696).  However, the obvious outlier is Africa.  It looks like all of the African countries have numbers in the 200's (Benin-229, Liberia-231, Mali-223), so the assignments cannot be completely based on economic development.  Nor, however, can they be geographically based since Malaysia is 60 and Laos is 856.  So maybe it does have to do with the order in which countries became plugged into the international calling or telegraph system.  Africa's codes actually support this argument since most of them were colonies of European powers and would have received international telegraph or telephone service fairly early.  Of course, all of Central America is in the middle group, but Spain never invested very heavily in the infrastructure of its colonies, so Central America doesn't necessarily refute the theory.  Interesting.  Anyone else have any thoughts or ideas?

Disclaimer: When I was an undergraduate, I did briefly consider going to graduate school at the University of Hawaii-Manoa.  How could anyone possibly not consider it?  Living in a great location, studying economics (before I knew what graduate economics is, of course), fishing, just doing all of the things that seemed ideal at the time.  So even though I didn't end up going there for grad school, I knew that continuing my education in the South Pacific was at least an option.  Still though, had I known that there is also a University of Guam, I would have gone there in a heartbeat.  Just imagine going to an accredited college on a tiny island that is barely a part of the US!  Incredible!  And to think that I didn't even know it existed until one of my students told me tonight that a lot of Japanese students go there to study English.  Shit, I want to go there to study English.  Maybe I can write it off as a business expense.  Although I think getting the aforementioned M.Ed. from the University of Guam is more feasible.  In the meantime, I need to think of a mascot for them since they don't seem to have one.  Ideas?

Now that it's turkey season in North Carolina, I would just like to provide everyone with a comprehensive guide to making turkey calls.  My personal favorite is the the Kee Kee Run mouth call, but feel free to choose your own.  And remember not to wash your hunting clothes with laundry detergent since turkeys can spot its effervescent residue.  And yes, this guide really is in the 'Lifestyles' section of my local newspaper.