Modern Day Drifter

Good God.  For those of you who, unlike me, don't follow the daily fluctuations of the dollar-yen exchange rate, the dollar price of this watermelon is about $6400.  That's not a typo–that's really six thousand four hundred dollars.  For a watermelon.

Incidentally, just after typing the period for that last sentence, one of these came by and I had to run outside just to get a glimpse of it and take in the full decibel onslaught.   So where was I?  Oh yes:

For a fucking watermelon!  Notice that the price of a 'regular' one will be between $200 and $300 in grocery stores.  No level of sweetness is worth that price.  And people think that Americans have too much disposable income.

No, scratch that.  I have plenty of things to say about this gadget(?), innovation (?), step towards gender equality(?).  Most of them are questions.  How does it stay clean?  If you take it to the Arctic like the company advertises, will it freeze?  What's the real difference between the Whiz, Whiz Plus, and Whiz Midstream?  The questions are limitless.  The only real problem is that I can't give it a trial myself.  So if any adventurous women out there want to take a crack at peeing standing up, I'll help fund any Whiz model you want as long as I get a full report.

Eight years ago, during my senior year in high school, I celebrated my 18th birthday in the middle of Tropical Storm Dennis.  Eleven years ago, I received Hurricane Fran as an unrivalled birthday present from the Atlantic Ocean.  My hands are still calloused from all of the wood I chopped.  That was my 15th birthday present from my father–calloused hands.  So it's fitting that Japan's ninth typhoon of the season is hammering Hokkaido right now and I therefore will begin my 26th birthday with wind, rain, and cloudy skies.  Thanks Japan, you're the best.

But seriously, though.  This typhoon is unreal.  And that's coming from someone who grew up with two of the worst hurricanes in North Carolina history–Fran and Floyd.  Maybe it's because typoons spin in the opposite direction.  Or at least I think they do.  Can anyone verify that for me?  Regardless, I've learned today that riding a bike in a typhoon is an even worse idea than walking in one.  As is carrying an umbrella.  It only took one solid gust of wind for that thing to be completely destroyed.  Also, Japanese people don't really seem to respect typhoons in the sense that they continue to live their normal lives, going to work, driving around, meeting friends, seemingly oblivious to the fact that it is raining sideways and sometimes upwards.

We'll see how this develops overnight.  In the meantime, however, there is birthday champagne to drink.  Now we're talking.  Good company and good alcohol are the best ways to pass the time while hunkered down, hiding from the storm, and fortunately, I have both.  Now if I could just discern what kind of dinner is being prepared in the kitchen...

This is why the Chinese will dominate this century.  It has nothing to do with their population or nuclear weapons or rapidly growing economy.  The most important thing going on in the country these days is their professed ability to manipulate the weather with rockets.  That's mind-blowing.  And somewhat frightening.  Just think of what people with the mentality of 'Shit, it's not raining so let's fire a rocket into a cloud to make it rain' can accomplish.  I can't even think of any humorous responses because my brain isn't geared that way.  And that's just another sign that the Chinese have already won; they have superior thought patterns.  So I salute you for your efforts and abilities, Beijing.  And thank you for shouldering the burden for the next century or so.  America is tired of it.  Or at least I am.

Peruvians have discovered that drinking ground-up frogs can increase a low sex drive.  It can also help to cure asthma and bronchitis, which I suppose is just the beneficial side effect and not the main reason for ingesting this concoction.  Oh, I just looked at the caption for the picture.  It looks like a frog smoothie can also fix some problems associated with anemia and boost brain activity.  I'm beginning to suspect that all of these are related.  If I were having an asthma attack or showering my partner with bronchial coughs, I for damn sure don't think I would want to have sex with them.  And if I were iron-starved and therefore lethargic, I don't think sex would be the first thing on my mind.  So maybe the blended froggucino doesn't actually increase one's libido, but rather alleviates conditions that reduce it.  That's an important difference.  Either way, I am somewhat disappointed that I didn't discover this beverage while living in Lima.  But that's okay because I certainly found and enjoyed the coca tea in Cuzco.  And I'd drink that as my morning (and afternoon) coffee every day if I could.

I met this woman yesterday at a women's sumo wrestling tournament down in Fukushima.  Before you click on the link, I should warn you.  Amazon Amanda informed us that she is a plus-size model, but after googling her and finding her personal page, let me assure you that she is not a plus-size fashion model.  I really just don't know what to say.  I realize that there is a sexual world out there that is completely alien to me and probably most of humanity, but this is just...odd.  I don't even want to think about the type of people who get off to thoughts of being smothered or trampled.  I just don't get it.

Not only does this paper have the longest title of any economics paper I have ever seen, but it could very well be the least intelligible one also.  Two things immediately jump out at me:

1) I know what these words mean individually, but this is like shotgun English.  Just put a lot of words in the gun and fire them out and see what you get.  I cannot even begin to make sense of either the title or the abstract.

2) The word 'economics' is not used a single time in the abstract.  That bothers me.  I can't put my finger on why, but it does.

Now I could write about how this paper makes economists look like idiots, or at least how we (did I just call myself an economist?) might have our priorities misplaced–after all getting monetary policy 'right' in African countries is much more important than determining whether a semi-martingale assumption is important when testing for distributional jump effects–but I think this paper presents a more fundamental question: where do I archive it, Economics or WTF?  Because it is an economics paper in the sense that it was written by economists and has some empirical tests, but I really think it belongs in the WTF? section since that was my first response after reading the abstract.  Maybe both is the way to go.  Regardless, don't bother spending $5 to read the whole thing.  You'll only have nightmares about omegas and epsilons.

Hmmm.  This is a tough one for me.  I support artistic freedom in nearly all contexts and I do think that it is much more appropriate for children to recieve a chocolate Jesus on Easter Sunday instead of a chocolate rabbit, but I suppose I must defer to the judgment of the people in charge at the hotel after receiving what they perceived as death threats.  Which I think is even more ridiculous.  Clearly these people were unable to see the sarcasm and irony evident in the 'My Sweet Lord' sculpture.  After all, I think children would be perfectly willing to accept Jesus as their savior if he presented himself in chocolate.  So Ryan, this is the logical extreme of the Cheesus Christ communion wafer.  This, my friend, is more flavor from your savior.

This is absolutely ridiculous.  Just look at the picture.  I can't even begin to imagine what you would use the thing for.  Who needs a complete allen wrench set when they're hiking?  Furthermore, as a fairly avid hiker, I can't even fathom how you would carry the damn thing.  I don't think I own a pack that would even have space for it.  If you just added a Camelbak water reservoir and a few straps, the "knife" alone could be one hell of a daypack.  Maybe that's the next reincarnation.  I better hurry up and get that patented.  In the meantime, just take a look at the photo again.  I mean, damn.